Today the weather fits my mood or maybe the weather dictated my mood for today. Either way I am 100% completely sad and want to curl up under the covers, binge watch Netflix and mope. So I am going to do just that for a while; I am granting myself permission to grieve; to honor these emotions and feelings today. Then I am going to step back outside my “waiting room” and focus on the great things in my life. Mike wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
It is hard to believe that Mike has been gone for 5 years…157,784,760 seconds. That is a lot of time that has gone by since I last held his hand or heard his voice tell me that he loved me. That is also a long time for life to move forward in amazing ways. The kids are thriving and I am blessed to love and be loved by an amazing man. This is the “duality of loss”. Grief and loss never goes away, we learn to live and move forward in amazing ways when we can see and honor both sides of loss.
I am beyond grateful for this beautiful life that I have right in front of me and the man I get to love every day, though today I am honoring and remembering the life that I originally had planned and the man that I love every day but lost.
Blessings,
Lyn
RemarriedWidow 
Sooo feel you, Lyn! My 5 years is on the 16th. I’d forgotten we “shared” that in common. Thanks for the insight. It is so Bittersweet. I hear you. I feel you. I love you. And I’m so very proud of you and your family and all all of you are becoming because YOU dared to be BRAVE and Lean into Life to Live and Love again. Congrats, Love! Forever and always, Natalie
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Thank you for sharing. My husband will be gone four years soon. It feels like a lifetime ago and like yesterday all at the same time since I’ve spoken to him. Yes as you said life somehow has moved forward, but there are days when I am completely overwhelmed by how much I miss him. I accept that this is how it will probably always be. I will carry him deep in my heart forever.
xox
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It has only been 14 months since my hubby passed away and it is so much harder than I EVER imagined. I would love to find out if there’s a Mondern Widow Chapter in my area. I drive over an hour once a month right now to be a part of a group but it is hard to make the journey with kids still at home. Please advise. Never Lose Hope…God’s Got This!
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Michelle, Keep breathing my dear. It isn’t easy at all but I am glad you found my blog. Visit http://www.modernwidowsclub.com to find the chapters. You can also join the community online and know as we grow into new cities. Much love and prayers to you as you grow your tribe! Lyn
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