Today the weather fits my mood or maybe the weather dictated my mood for today. Either way I am 100% completely sad and want to curl up under the covers, binge watch Netflix and mope. So I am going to do just that for a while; I am granting myself permission to grieve; to honor these emotions and feelings today. Then I am going to step back outside my “waiting room” and focus on the great things in my life. Mike wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
It is hard to believe that Mike has been gone for 5 years…157,784,760 seconds. That is a lot of time that has gone by since I last held his hand or heard his voice tell me that he loved me. That is also a long time for life to move forward in amazing ways. The kids are thriving and I am blessed to love and be loved by an amazing man. This is the “duality of loss”. Grief and loss never goes away, we learn to live and move forward in amazing ways when we can see and honor both sides of loss.
I am beyond grateful for this beautiful life that I have right in front of me and the man I get to love every day, though today I am honoring and remembering the life that I originally had planned and the man that I love every day but lost.