The list goes on and on of how women use the word widow all over the place to explain how their spouse is off doing something they enjoy and they are left behind for…”gasp”…a few days.
Please don’t confuse your “widowhood” that includes shopping, sales and spas with my real life widowhood!”
I am no saint for sure and I likely used the word nonchalantly prior to being a real Widow. I realized though real life loss that I would take Mike back in a heartbeat even if it meant I didn’t see him much on the weekends in the fall and spring as I was a “Farm Widow”.
I pray for the women that sound like they are complaining about their “widow” status that they never experience real widowhood.
If you are reading this you know at least 1 Widow in your life – ME. If you have ever used this word and you are not truly a widow please consider how it might make the Widow in your life feel; when you try to compare your weekend without your spouse to her lifetime without her spouse.
Ponder that for a while and while many here in Minnesota get closer to what is referred to “hunting widows weekend” think about what you could do for a Widow that you know and how you could possibly make her full-time Widow status easier. On a side note that just because your friend is dating/remarried or has been widowed for many years doesn’t mean she “Revokes her Widow Card“.
Here are a few ideas from my friend and mentor Carolyn Moor, Founder of Modern Widows Club.
- Donate to Modern Widows Club – We serve to empower widows to lean into life, build resilience and make a positive difference in society. We do so on-line and within 15 cities hosting social hours each month.
- Offer to babysit her kids so she can run errands in peace, get a massage or grab a coffee uninterrupted.
- Bring her a meal
- If you’re a handyman offer to fix that broken door handle, tune up her snow blower, put away her patio furniture – the list here could go on and on….
- My personal favorite is offer to spend Friday or Saturday night with her! Bring a bottle of wine, a great movie, snacks and enjoy her company.
Widows are the busiest and loneliest women that I know.
6 thoughts on “Real Life Widow”
Reblogged this on Widow Plus Three and commented:
A blog post from a dear friend of mine who is also traveling this journey of widowhood.
The main thing about being a widow is now I have to find people to do work around my house and its hard to ask for help, I know everyone is busy. Traveling alone is no fun if you can’t share the trip as you go, evenings are lonely, watching other married couples having dinner out, holding hands. I was married to my best friend just one day shy of 50 years. All our married life we were partners, now hes gone. Our children don’t realize what its like, no one does until it happens to them. But each day I get up and figure out what I can do to make another day and try not to think of my husband. Its been 4 years and not one day goes by something reminds me of him or things we did. It is a long journey we must make alone so if you still have a husband, show him you appreciate him, make new memories together, have fun, life can be cut short way to fast. Life is meant to be lived, I’m grateful for the almost 50 years I had.
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What a great article. The last sentence was a sucker-punch of truth. More than anything, widowhood is lonely. Even with what may appear to be a “bust” life, day in and day out, it is lonely. My better half is gone and that space will never be filled.
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Reblogged this on Lattegems for Just Me and commented:
I really like how she put this idea.
Your words in this post resonated with me, and also the comments. Yes, it is hard to ask for help. Yes, it is busy lonely. Yes, please don’t tell me what kind of widow you are this weekend. Also, I’m sorry for when I said that before my husband passed away.